Being asked to write “more traditional Christmas stories” has ended being way more painful than I thought. I mean, it was surprising enough that I could write for kids, but write normal for kids? It’s like pulling teeth.
Just to give a frame of reference, the last set of stories included stories about robots, astronauts in orbit, and stranded sailors celebrating Christmas and one story about how Santa could possibly be an octopus. And that was me struggling for ideas. How am I supposed to come up with ten ideas when I have to worry about them being too odd?
Finished writing those Christmas stories. Got offered more money to write more Christmas stories.
Next LP/Fairy Tale posts will be when I climb out of this Christmas-themed nightmare I have found myself in.
So I guess some kind of ballpit enthusiast convention happened recently or whatever. I don’t know.
What I do know is that one of the convention’s founders wrote a book and went to Kickstarter to get money to publish it. And let me tell you, it is a doozy. And by doozy I mean I cannot fathom how it reached its goal.
Then again, I guess its author has experience getting loads of money for subpar products. OH SNAP
So I bought Megan Eli’s book on kindle because it seemed too shitty and ridiculous not to mock. When I bought it I was so fucking to get a good laugh from how shitty it was. Well, I recently finished it. All 295 pages of it.
This book is so bad, and not even the good kind of bad. This book is worse than you can possibly imagine. I did not get a single chuckle from this book. In fact there were times where I had to put it down and take a break for a couple days because it offended me so much. And this is from someone who has read Org’s Odyssey and .
I made a list of all the things this book has to offer under the cut.
I could not ask for a better write-up to be attached to my own work.
I just have a few bullet points of my own to add:
- Her blog, where I’m reading these first few chapters, is kind of the typical Superwholock fan blog. Right up to the picture of two guys having sex as her icon.
- Does anyone say “Cake or death?” during that cake fight sequence? Because that would seem pretty par for the steal-material-from-everywhere course.
- I could think of a multitude of better ways to find a prince than following a goddamn rainbow and it involves actually looking for clues and forming conclusions.
- A unicorn with the voice of Gilbert Gottfried does sound amazing.
- Really? She just ups and calls it Chicago? This is why you don’t give your stupid kingdom a stupid name. At least not one that’s just your hometown plus “land.”
- What the fuck kind of last page is that? That’s the kind of last page you put up when you can’t think of what to put as your last page. In which case what you put as your last page should be fucking nothing.
Thank you avvoltoio for braving the entire book for our sake. You are far braver than I.